How do I sum up my first year of graduate school? It was definitely a challenge. It was definitely trying. It was anxiety-ridden, fear-inducing, and I’m not sure I came out of the year as the same person I was before I started attending school. Correction, I’m sure I’m not the same person. But I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.
I currently sit in the Manchester Starbucks as a detour on my way to Westport, Connecticut, where I will be working as the Marketing Intern for Westport Country Playhouse. And I have no idea what to expect, but I have to believe there will be plenty to learn while I’m there. It’s a mystery to me – the North. And that’s okay.
Being here in the small town that raised me, I have flashes of long-lost memories, happier times when I did not know what lay ahead of me. These fields are shining and full of life, green and vibrant. The skies reach to the furthest heavens, showing artwork by the Creator that I cannot purely describe. While visiting my old home, I’ve seen familiar faces I thought had long forgotten me, recalled lost laughs at the dinner table, heard the melodies of our heritage, and told stories that had slipped my mind.
Being here makes me miss who I was before the undefined whenever, scorn what could have been, and mourn what never was. Home. Is. Complicated. Family. Is. Enigmatic. And somewhere along the way I forgot who I was. Perhaps, as the Doctor has said, I’m coming home the long way round. Perhaps. We shall see.
All that to say, I live in the ebb and flow. I live in a now that has no structure. Although this body is confined to time, I’m so unsure. I’ve made commitments that I regret for my past and asked questions of myself without giving a definite answer.
The tempest surrounds me, although you cannot see it, but shipwrecks are not the end of the story.
The greatest thing that came from my first year of graduate school is a friendship I don’t have the words to describe. I adore these four for braving it out with me.
Thank you all for your sincerity, positivity, support, and humor, and for making this year worth it.