Alpha’s Journal: Part 6

Here or there.

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Here we go again, another anonymous poem:

“I wish I could say

What I want to say,

But you’d never hear it

When you’re so far away.

So I’ll write and sing

And pray every night

Until the day you

Hear that you’re the songs I write.

Why can’t we be where we want,

Right by each others’ side?

Everyone else seems to have a problem, 

But they’re wrong if they think we’ve kissed

For the last time.

Here or there,

I know you’re my little lady.

I’m not crazy.”

Alpha’s Journal: Part 5

Quick script from a young poet:

And here we have another poem from the leather journal I unknowingly found while checking out the Crack House:

“I never though thought

I’d loose lose love

Once it was truly found.

You let go,

And I fell back to the ground.

I picked myself up

And learned to fly alone.

I swear I’m gonna going to

Make it all on my own.

I’m racing home.”

Alpha’s Journal: Part 4

Love is action; it is not a feeling.

“I was so close to you.

You were so close to me.

Blinded by your light, 

I could barely see,

I’d been in the dark

Just waiting for a match

To light my fuse

And bring me back.

I can’t see a damn thing.

I’ve just been sitting here listening. . .

Wondering. . .

What about True love?

Is it really so hard to find?

Underneath this Georgia Sun,

Yeah, good things come in time.

What about the heartache?

I knew there’d be a price.

Nothing about love’s easy, 

Except the way we feel tonight.

Tonight.”

[I guess that answers my questions about the origin of this mysterious journal. Huh, Georgia. Well, Alpha, as usual, I have a few responses: You want to find True Love? Check out 1 John 4:8. There you’ll find that love, in fact, is not a feeling, but it is an act. And in response to your question, it’s really not that hard to find; just pick up the bible on your coffee table.]

Alpha’s Journal: Part 3

Do not get distracted by the side issues.

“I don’t know why things are this way.

I know I’m meant to shine light in the dark,

But I need to bum a light.

So much potential;

So much love to burn;

Where’s the flame?

I need you to light me.

You burn me, and I’ll burn for you.

We can breathe in the passion.

Never exhale.

Never.”

[One thing I must address to Alpha: Whether or not you smoke does not prove salvation or lack thereof. In fact, in time and trust, God has the power to change you and free you from this addiction. But do not get distracted by the side issues.]

Alpha’s Journal: Part 2

Where do you learn the Truth?

Here is another poem – or thought – from the journal I found in my long-lost hiking backpack:

[Note: These poems do not necessarily echo nor reflect any feelings that I have; they were written by a completely anonymous fellow with the handwriting of a twelve-year-old.]

“Wow.

The world has really done an incredible job justifying Judgment.

These people preaching about love yet belittling someone else’s way of showing worship.

Dance foolishly, 

Sing loud,

And don’t let them change you as they have been changed.

Love hard and hold your tongue unless to give words of connection, family, and understanding.

You preach your mind

While I quiet my heart.

Love always,

Joshua”

Ah, well, I guess this guy isn’t completely anonymous.

[Just a few things to address: The world, as a matter of fact, teaches tolerance, not judgment. And if this fellow were in church, at least a proper one, he would know that pastors preach the Word, not their thoughts. And, well, God’s Word is the standard. Dancing like a fool is a plus, as David danced in the same manner before the tabernacle. Singing loudly is also encouraged in several psalms. If you change in obedience and understanding to the Word, then so be it. But if you remain obstinate, stick it out with the world, and then see where you end up in the end. Also, holding your tongue proves to give the illusion of wisdom even in the reality of a fool. That is all.]

Alpha’s Journal: Part 1

Sometimes we stumble across hidden gems.

In the summer of 2015, I moved into a house with a friend. Somehow, while living in the house, I ended up owning a hiking backpack, one that you might use while backpacking across Europe.

I can’t remember whether I found it while living in the house or if I got it from an old dump at the edge of Georgia. (I playfully call the old dump the Crack House.)

Without going into great detail, I kind of “disappeared” from the world for about a year, and during that time, I thought the backpack had vanished, along with some tennis rackets, my sleeping bag, and a few other items.

While having dinner with my father and stepmother about a week ago, Brenda (stepmom) said to me, “Hey, I was wondering if you knew about the backpack in your closet. Do you want to take that to Louisiana with you?”

“Backpack?” I asked. “I don’t have anything in my closet.” At this point, she’d been using my old bedroom’s closet as her own, so she knew more about the inside of the closet than I did.

After our dinner, I went back to my parents’ house, dove into the back corner of my closet, and found this massive backpack.

I thought to myself, I don’t see much hiking happening while I’m in Louisiana, but why not? So, I took the backpack with me.

When I got to my new home and after setting everything up in my bedroom, I found a compact leather journal inside the massive backpack.

What should I find but poetry from its previous owner? (And suddenly my mind flashes to the diary of Tom Riddle and the poor possession of Ginny Weasley. . . Haha!) The mysterious author calls himself Alpha.

Enjoy this once hidden gem with me:

“You stay with

Me like the stars

In the sky.

Even when I can’t see you. . .

I know you’re there.

Understand that you read true love.

Pain in its most beautiful form

Poured onto paper.

Hope, Faith, and light in a Hopeless, faithless,

and Dark World.

It’s all I have to believe in.

If I lost the faith,

Only then will I have been crazy.

I assure you, my love.

I am sane.

P. S. I miss you.

Every day.”

A New Chapter

This morning I said, “Bon voyage,” to Chattanooga, Tennessee.

From 2011 until today, this city has been a huge part of my life, from trips in college (trips to the walking bridge and ferry rides, celebrating birthdays, relaxing from shows and classes on the weekends, celebrating holidays) to moving there after graduation, to becoming a part of a very influential and scripture-focused church, to working at Starbucks, to being integrated into a bible study, and so forth…

Six years of my life has been dedicated to Chattanooga, but at this point, it’s time to move on. I’ve always wanted to move out of state. I’ve always wanted to venture forth in order to study production stage management.

So, looking back, I am grateful for the people who have blessed me in Chattanooga – and Dayton. I am grateful for both the mistakes made in this city and the redemption that God has provided for me despite my failures.

Looking forward, I am ever more grateful that God is allowing me to follow my dreams, which is not something many people can say. I am trusting fully that this is the direction God wants for me, seeing as how I didn’t fully pursue it and, in fact, I had given up on it.

This weekend, I will be moving to Ruston, LA, and I will be attending the graduate program at LATech to get my M. A. in Theatre. Whatever happens, I know I have God to fall back on.

And I’ll be posting YouTube videos so those who may be interested can keep up with me as I try to navigate graduate school.

[Here’s the latest vlog, too. It’s about my last day at my summer internship.]


In other news, I now sit at the Starbucks in Manchester, TN, wasting time before I head to my father’s house.

What am I doing here? Funny enough – I’m starting a new blog.

Here’s an excerpt from the “About” page:

 

If you enjoy fantasy, check it out. (Yeah, I get it, I’m a geek.)