Alpha’s Journal: Part 7

How can one confuse light for darkness?

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Once again, I need to reiterate that this is not my journal, meaning I did not pick up smoking, if anyone happens to stumble across this blog entry. This poem is from a journal that recently and quite mysteriously showed up in my life.

 

“Every time I smoke I reflect.

The only reflection I see is you.

Mirrors show you what’s behind you,

And I guess I’m stuck in this looking glass.

 

I exhale with hope and exhale in the present.

Faith is a hell of a burden.

No guarantee, No proof, Just believe.

It’s a hard thing to have unless you can feel it. 

Emotions are physical even when not physically present.

Gift. A blessing and a curse.”

 

[Boy, this poem is more confusing than anything. Hell does not pertain to faith; Hell has all to do with fear — a twisted faith deriving from all things not of God. And faith does not have anything to with our power, our will, our feelings; they are a gift of grace by God Himself (when we submit our wills to His purpose), and everyone struggles with faith because we cannot manifest it for ourselves, within ourselves.

“Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.”

Again, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

We all have some growth to do. But it’s important not to confuse punishment (i.e. fear) with love (i.e. faith).]

23

free verse

Reflecting, pondering,

And I look back and see a farm,

Vegetation, growth, green life –

Purpose.

 

Brotherhood –

Camaraderie in the most unlikely

Of forms, but brothers

Nonetheless.

 

Change – immense edification.

Hanging on a cliff

And then pushed out of the nest –

It was a spring board

For what? Lord only knows.

 

Hopes dashed,

Dreams crushed,

But that’s all carnal.

The truth is: Someone is

Serving up something unforeseen.

 

And it’s greater

Than I dare to imagine!

 

Thanks for reading. If you want to catch a glimpse of my life, check out this new video of my twenty-forth birthday!

20

a sestina

How does one take a year and make a blanket

Statement about every nitty-gritty bit of character

Development, from heart break to fear to excitement then unrelenting kindness?

How does one glance back at companions,

Both those he has yet to meet and the ones he once

Knew would rush into the open auburn?

 

When looking out at the vast auburn

Sky, it’s as if the Lord had taken a blanket –

A single thread woven into every shade of red all at once.

He, in His vast knowledge and wisdom, put His very character

Into the layout; I know my companions

Can see it, well Him, too – such kindness.

 

Grace – why mistake it for mere kindness?

Scarlet – only I could mistake it for auburn.

Family – as if they were lowly traveling companions.

Security – comfort mistaken as a cloth-like blanket.

Jesus whispers, “Yes, if you would hear, you would know I am the lead character.

Listen, son, just this once.”

 

Why ponder this once?

Why stop at His kindness?

Is there not also joy? Peace? Goodness? So much more to His character?!

Was He not beaten to what – to disfigurement at the shade of dry auburn?!

Was there not, in mockery, placed around Him a purple, ratty blanket?!

And looking down with his compassionate eyes, He saw enemies, no companions. . .

 

To lay one’s life down for his companions. . .

He did it just once.

But it was a blanket

Promise to all. Kindness. . .

To show us the Father’s love. Auburn

Leaves fall to the ground, but in spring they change character.

 

In spring, they come to life again. New character –

Same life, same love, inviting companions

To fellowship in memory of the dying auburn.

The leaves only fall once,

But so they rise to sit at the right hand of Kindness.

Trust in this, more than you might trust in any security blanket.

 

How does one take a truth and make a blanket

Statement about – well, more than just kindness?

And how could one speak it just once?